Happy Anniversary

I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary, honey?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested: "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started...

My wife and I were discussing the recent death of a friend. She asked me: "Why do you think men die before their wives?"

I said: "Because they want to."

And that's when the fight started...

How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?

He's smoking a cigarette.

My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."

So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."

And that's when the fight started...