How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.
What should you do if your clothes are on fire?
Don't put 'em on.
Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?
So she won't shit on the street during the parade.
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
(And in case you are wondering, yes, I'll be here all night!)
