How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.
A guy's in his car with a girl and says, "How about a hand job?"
She says, "What do I have to do?"
He says, "Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it? Just do that."
She grabs it and does it. A few minutes later, he starts screaming. She says, "What's wrong?"
He says, "Take your fucking thumb off the end."
A girl's going across town in a cab. When she gets where she's going she discovers she has no money.
She lifts her skirt and says, "Cabbie, you want to barter?"
He takes a look and says, "Lady, haven't you got anything smaller?"
Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."
Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."
