How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.
Why's a sheep better than a woman?
A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
My wife kinda had second thoughts about the first sex video I had talked her into making, so she said she wanted it back.
I said, "OK, but you'll have to pay twenty bucks, just like everybody else."
And that's when the fight started...
