What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't cook... they eat out.
4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.
2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
Because you have to hollow out the head.
I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."
"I do"
And that's when the fight started...
