How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
How do you get five hundred cows in a barn?
Put up a "Bingo" sign.
A new bride was embarrassed to be on her honeymoon. When she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear as if they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure. You carry the luggage!"
And that's when the fight started...
What's a necrophiliac's biggest complaint about sex?
She just kinda lays there.
