What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?
Seizure Salad.
Any man who thinks baseball is our national pastime never played doctor when he was a kid!
Basically there are 5 kinds of sex:
Smurf Sex - On your honeymoon you keep doing it until you're both blue in the face.
Kitchen Sex - At the beginning of your marriage you'll have sex anytime, anywhere - even in the kitchen.
Bedroom Sex - When you've settled down a bit, maybe have some kids, so you gotta restrict it to the bedroom.
Hallway Sex - You reach the point where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"
Courtroom Sex - Finally, you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of the whole courtroom.
A guy goes into a bank for a business loan.
The bank manager says, "What kind of business do you want to start?"
The guy says, "I have some black powder. You sprinkle it on pussy and it makes it taste like a peach."
The bank manager says, "I'm afraid we're not interested."
A few months later the guy walks into the bank pushing a wheel barrel full of money.
The bank manager says, "I see that idea for black powder really paid off."
The guy says, "Nah, that didn't go anywhere. I made my money with this white powder."
The bank manager says, "What does it do?"
The guy says, "Give me a peach and I'll show you."
