What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?
Seizure Salad.
Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)
A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?
How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?
You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.
