What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?
Seizure Salad.
A guy was organizing his cards for Valentine's Day and realized he made a huge mistake!
"For fucks sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.
The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her."
Why don't blind people skydive?
It scares the shit out of their dogs!
My wife asked me to guess what she wanted for her birthday.
So I said: "Your face from 10 years ago?"
And that's when the fight started...
