Why can't blondes parallel park? 'Cause guys keep telling them that 4 inches is really 8 inches.
Guy to his friend: "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes & no clothes to wear."
Friend tells him: "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."
And that's when the fight started...
