What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?
Homeless.
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?
You don't look down.
Why'd my wife cross the road?To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.
Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.
She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.
