Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?
Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.
I needed hearing aids, so I asked my doc for the latest technology. You know... the ones that connect directly to the 900 chat lines so I can listen "hands-free"... if you know what I mean.
Cop pulls a guy over at 3am: "Where you going at this hour?"
Guy says: "To a lecture on alcohol abuse, its effect on the human body. And the dangers of smoking & staying out late."
"Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
"My wife."
How can you tell if you're at a gay barbecue?
The hot dogs taste like shit.
