Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.
Guy to his friend: "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes & no clothes to wear."
Friend tells him: "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said: 'Do you want to have sex?
"'No!" she answered. Then I said: "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, and just said: "Yes."
So I said: "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
