Every Frickin' Joke

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 806

What's better than being a historic pioneer of women's rights?

Being a man.

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 1155

Tragically Mickey and Minnie Mouse found themselves in divorce court.

The judge asked Mickey: "Mr. Mouse, are you telling this court that you wish to divorce your wife simply because you think she's crazy?"

Mickey replied: "I never said she was crazy... I said she was fuckin' Goofy!"

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 1028

A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES.

The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea.

He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop, it read: MAIN ENTRANCE.

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 998

10. You're sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.

9. The turkey never suffers from modesty.

8. You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.

7. You are expected to pass the dishes around.

6. There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or without whipped cream.

5. They give you the day off WITH pay to have dinner.

4. Thanksgiving dinner is a "sure" thing.

3. Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!

2. You're expected to fall asleep after dinner.

And the number 1 reason why Thanksgiving dinner is better than sex:

1. You are EXPECTED to watch football BEFORE and AFTER dinner.

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 1029

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 1211

How is a Jewish woman like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Her husband only gets to stuff her once a year.

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 1073

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.

“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 1077

A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."