Every Frickin' Joke

Real Facts Of Life

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 04 December 2014; Hits: 3456

A kid walks in and catches his mom sucking on his father's dick.

He says, "Hey, are you guys making a baby?"

Mom lifts her head up and says, "No sweetie... we're making jewelry."

Ahhh... The Things That Lovers Text To Each Other

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 03 December 2014; Hits: 2967

Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."

Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."

Always Know What To Say

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 02 December 2014; Hits: 3457

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

"Honey, I'm home."

Back And Forth Exchange

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 01 December 2014; Hits: 3068

Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."

He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"

And that's when the REAL fight started...

Page 267 of 286

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Been There Done That

A guy asks his drinkin' buddy if he had any suggestions on how to spice up a dull marriage. His buddy tells him "Well, you can always have an affair."

"I can't possibly do that! I would never cheat on her." he replies. So his buddy tells him "Look, if you convince her to let you do it, it won't be cheating." The guy thinks sure, that could work. And so he heads home, and finding his wife in the perfect mood, he springs the idea on her that maybe a new partner would add some excitement.

"Honey," his wife says, "that won't help our marriage. Believe me, I already tried it."

Sex Ed

Little Johnny was in sex ed class when the teacher began a discussion about genitals. Johnny shouted out, "My old man has got two of those"

The teacher was shocked and asked Johnny to explain.

"Well, the small one he uses when he takes a piss. And the large one he uses to brush the baby sitter's teeth."

Things Are Not Always What They Seem To Be

At the Senior Citizens' mixer, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.

They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river and the gentleman asks the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?" All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right in the boat. When finished the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.

They fished for a while and then continued on down the river when soon they came upon another fork in the river. He asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?" There she went again, stripped off and made wild passionate love to him again. This really impressed the old gentleman so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.

She said yes and so here they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in the river and the gentleman asks, "Well, do you want to go up or down?" The woman replied, "Down." A little puzzled, the gentleman drove the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asks the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?" She replied, "Up."

This really confused the gentleman so he asks, "What's the deal? Every time yesterday that I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing." She replied, "Well, yesterday I didn't have my hearing aid in and I thought you said 'fuck or drown'!"