Ahhh... The Things That Lovers Text To Each Other

: Created: 03 December 2014; Hits: 2260

Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."

Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Gold Digger

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, showed up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocked everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hung over Bob's arm and listened intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they cornered him to ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bob replied, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

They are now even more knocked out. So now they ask 'How the hell did you persuade that fox to marry you?" "I lied about my age," Bob replied. "What, did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiled and said, "No, I told her I was 90."

A Matter of Timing

I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."

Can't Wait To Get There

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!