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Top 10 Reasons Thanksgiving Dinner Is Better Than Sex

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 2719

10. You're sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.

9. The turkey never suffers from modesty.

8. You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.

7. You are expected to pass the dishes around.

6. There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or without whipped cream.

5. They give you the day off WITH pay to have dinner.

4. Thanksgiving dinner is a "sure" thing.

3. Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!

2. You're expected to fall asleep after dinner.

And the number 1 reason why Thanksgiving dinner is better than sex:

1. You are EXPECTED to watch football BEFORE and AFTER dinner.

Thanksgiving Day Football

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 2902

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

A Kosher Turkey

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 3212

How is a Jewish woman like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Her husband only gets to stuff her once a year.

All Alone On Thanksgiving

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 3335

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.

“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

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No Place Like Home

A trucker who was on the road for two weeks stops at a whore house in Atlanta. He plops down $500 bucks and tells the madame: "I want your ugliest girl and a grilled cheese sandwich."

The madamce is astonished and says: "For that kind of money you can have any of my finest ladies and a 5-course dinner."

The trucker replies: "Listen darlin'... I'm not horny - I'm homesick!"

Gone Fishin'

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my idiot husband Is out fishing in that?"

And that's when the fight started...

Do I Make You Hungry Baby?

What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber.

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