D*ck Joke of the Day
A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.
  • Home
  • Dick Jokes
  • Just Plain Funny
  • That's when the fight started
  • WTF?!
  • About
  • Send Dick A Joke

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

  1. You are here:  
  2. Home
  3. Every Frickin' Joke

Every Frickin' Joke

Top 10 Reasons Thanksgiving Dinner Is Better Than Sex

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 2718

10. You're sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.

9. The turkey never suffers from modesty.

8. You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.

7. You are expected to pass the dishes around.

6. There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or without whipped cream.

5. They give you the day off WITH pay to have dinner.

4. Thanksgiving dinner is a "sure" thing.

3. Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!

2. You're expected to fall asleep after dinner.

And the number 1 reason why Thanksgiving dinner is better than sex:

1. You are EXPECTED to watch football BEFORE and AFTER dinner.

Thanksgiving Day Football

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 2901

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

A Kosher Turkey

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 3211

How is a Jewish woman like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Her husband only gets to stuff her once a year.

All Alone On Thanksgiving

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 3333

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.

“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

Page 269 of 286

  • 264
  • 265
  • 266
  • 267
  • 268
  • 269
  • 270
  • 271
  • 272
  • 273

Don't Miss These Jokes!

One Professional to Another

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around and yells: "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

The guy behind him says: "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

Really Paid Off!

A guy goes into a bank for a business loan.

The bank manager says, "What kind of business do you want to start?"

The guy says, "I have some black powder. You sprinkle it on pussy and it makes it taste like a peach."

The bank manager says, "I'm afraid we're not interested."

A few months later the guy walks into the bank pushing a wheel barrel full of money.

The bank manager says, "I see that idea for black powder really paid off."

The guy says, "Nah, that didn't go anywhere. I made my money with this white powder."

The bank manager says, "What does it do?"

The guy says, "Give me a peach and I'll show you."

Not Necessarily A Religious Test

You know why every woman doesn't go to heaven?

If they all went, it would be hell.

Copyright © 2026 D*ck Joke Of The Day. All Rights Reserved.