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Top 10 Reasons Thanksgiving Dinner Is Better Than Sex

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 2727

10. You're sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.

9. The turkey never suffers from modesty.

8. You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.

7. You are expected to pass the dishes around.

6. There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or without whipped cream.

5. They give you the day off WITH pay to have dinner.

4. Thanksgiving dinner is a "sure" thing.

3. Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!

2. You're expected to fall asleep after dinner.

And the number 1 reason why Thanksgiving dinner is better than sex:

1. You are EXPECTED to watch football BEFORE and AFTER dinner.

Thanksgiving Day Football

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 2915

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

A Kosher Turkey

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 3221

How is a Jewish woman like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Her husband only gets to stuff her once a year.

All Alone On Thanksgiving

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 27 November 2014
Hits: 3351

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.

“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

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I Prefer Natural Remedies

A guy gets a prescription from his doctor for Viagra with the instruction to take it one hour before sex.

He gets home, checks his watch and looking for a little action he pops a pill an hour before his wife is due home from work.

But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she would be home late while she ran some errands.

In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will wear off by the time my wife gets home."

"I see," said the doctor. "It is a shame to waste it. Do you have a maid?" "Yes." "Well, you could occupy yourself with her instead?"

"But I don't need Viagra with the maid."

Hang In There Buddy

One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Little Johnny was sitting and found him with his hand down his pants. She asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?" Little Johnny said, "It hurts down there." "Well then," said the teacher, "You need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home."

A little while later, Johnny came back to the classroom and took his seat. When the teacher walked over she was shocked to see Little Johnny had his dick hanging out of his pants. The teacher said, "Johnny, what's that doing hanging out of your pants?!"

Little Johnny said, "The nurse called home, and my mommy said if I can stick it out till noon, she'll come and pick me up."

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