What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being a retard.
Know when a man is well hung?
When you can barely slip a finger in between his neck & the noose.
A guy is sitting at the bar and he's really drunk. His dick is out, he's a monstrous hard-on, and he's beating off like there's no tomorrow.
The bartender says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get outta here."
The guy says, "Are you kiddin'? No way I can leave. If I stood up I couldn't walk. In fact, I'm so drunk, I don't even know who I'm screwin'."
My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
