What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being a retard.
When I was 16, my dad sat me down and said, "Dick, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle about the price."
Dear Santa,
I've been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Well, more like once in a while...
Oh f*ck it I'll buy my own shit!
- Billy
Sex is just like air...
It's no big deal until you're not getting any.
