What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being a retard.
How do you know if your wife's dead?
You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.
You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.
A guy bends his wife over the kitchen table and fucks her in the ass. When he's finished he asks: "Did you like that?"
She tells him: "I'd have liked it a lot more if the kids were done eating."