What's the first thing a man would do if there were no women left on earth?
Invent a dishwasher that would suck his dick.
What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
My wife was fishing for a compliment. So she asked me: "So, do you think you married Miss Right."
I said: "Yeah, I just didn't know your first name was 'Always.'"
And that's when the fight started...
Did you hear about the girl who had three chances to get pregnant?
Blew 'em all.