Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69.

She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

How can you tell if your wife's dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Cop: "Are you a natural blonde?" Blonde: "Yeah."

Tosses his ticket book, starts pulling down his zipper

Blonde: "Oh, no, not another Breathalyzer test."

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My neighbor looked over the fence and asked: "What are you doing?" I told her: "My goldfish died. I have to bury him."

"Why such a big hole?" she asked.

"'Cause he's inside your fucking cat."

A son asks, "Dad, how come I have brown skin and you are white?"

"Well son, just take a look at your mother,".

"But Dad, she's not black either."

"I know, you idiot! She's a fucking whore!"

What do Dracula's girlfriend and a washed up boxer have in common?

They both go down for the count!

Grandma Is Rockin' The Boat