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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Grandma Is Rockin' The Boat

Hits: 3654

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69.

She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

Over Her Dead Body

Hits: 3053

How can you tell if your wife's dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

A Real Blonde

Hits: 3218

Cop: "Are you a natural blonde?" Blonde: "Yeah."

Tosses his ticket book, starts pulling down his zipper

Blonde: "Oh, no, not another Breathalyzer test."

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Bench Warmers

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.

Wrap it Up

A lady goes into a sporting goods store and tells the salesman, "I need a present for my son's birthday."
The salesman suggests, "How about this skateboard?"
She asks, "How much?" He says, "Forty-nine ninety-five." She says, "Too much."
Then he suggests, "How about this baseball bat?" She asks, "How much?" He says, "Eight ninety-five."
She says, "Great, I'll take it."
He then asks, "You wanna ball for the bat?"
She says, "No ... but I'll blow you for the skateboard."

Maybe Not So Great After All?

An accordion player and a banjo player are hired to play together on New Year's Eve.

At the end of the party, the guy who hired them says, "You guys were great. You want to play for me again next New Year's Eve?"

The banjo player says, "Sure. Can we leave our stuff?"