A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity." The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
I love a massage. But the other day they sent in a man, which for me is a little weird... know what I mean?
Anyway, at one point I finally had to ask, 'Is it normal to get an erection?' He says, 'Sure.' So I told him, "OK fine, but can you get it out of my face?"