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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

She Loved My Pickle!

Created: 11 February 2015
Hits: 3131

A man comes home from his job at the pickle factory and tells his wife he was fired. She asks him what happened and he tells her "I got fired for putting my dick in the pickle slicer."

His wife replies "On no! Are you okay?"

The man says "Yeah I'm fine."

His wife replies "You're not hurt? Was the slicer turned on?"

The man says "Oh yeah, she loved it."

Is That Your Elbow, Or Are You Happy To See Me?

Created: 09 February 2015
Hits: 2730

After checking in to a hotel, a man is gets into the elevator and accidentally rubs his elbow against a woman's breasts. He tells her, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, come to room 624."

A Visit To The Hardware Store

Created: 08 February 2015
Hits: 2733

A married couple is remodeling their home and getting new doors so the husband asks his wife to go get hinges. She goes to the hardware store, picks out the hinges, and pays for them. As she is leaving the clerk realizes that she didn't get a screw for the hinge and says "Hey! Do you want a screw for that hinge?"

She looks at him and says "No..,. but I'll blow you for a microwave"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Leaky Pipes

Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."

The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"

"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."

Still Not My Type Of Girl

What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

Forty-five pounds.

Some People Like Em Sloppy

What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?

Her navel.

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