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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Ho Ho Ho, Now This Is A Merry Christmas

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 2486

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?"

Santa replied, "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."

So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

"Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."

She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my d*ck this way!"

All I Want For Christmas

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 2754

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister."

Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Naughty Or Nice

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 2428

Why is Santa Claus always so happy?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Wanna Barter?

A girl's going across town in a cab. When she gets where she's going she discovers she has no money.

She lifts her skirt and says, "Cabbie, you want to barter?"

He takes a look and says, "Lady, haven't you got anything smaller?"

Normal Reaction

I love a massage. But the other day they sent in a man, which for me is a little weird... know what I mean?

Anyway, at one point I finally had to ask, 'Is it normal to get an erection?' He says, 'Sure.' So I told him, "OK fine, but can you get it out of my face?"

Better Than Nothing

Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?

There's not much variety, but what else is open at three in the morning.

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