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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Happy Face

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 3091

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

Why Santa Doesn't Have Children

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 2631

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

Don't Be A Dick

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 2769

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Why Santa Doesn't Have Children

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

Doggie Style

A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"

"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."

Do What Mama Told You

Guy's making out with his girlfriend. Things start to get hot and heavy so he puts his hand under her skirt.

His girlfriend tells him: "You can't do that. My mother made me promise never to let a man put his hand under my skirt. But if you put your hand down my back, it'll be the second hole you come to."

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