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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Happy Face

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 3238

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

Why Santa Doesn't Have Children

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 2773

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

Don't Be A Dick

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 2881

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Never Take Candy From A Stranger

A guy pulls up to a little girl playing on the sidewalk and says, "Hey, little girl, want a lollipop?"

The girls says "My mommy told me not to take candy from strangers. But if you give me twenty bucks, I'll suck your dick."

Reason To Stay Single

The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.

If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?

Maybe Just One More

A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. Each time he took a shot he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look, then stuck it back in his pocket. Finally, a friend walks up to him and asks: "Hey man. I've been watching you all night. What do you keep checking in your pocket?"

"That's a picture of my wife."

"So why do you keep looking at it?"

"Because," he replied: "When she finally starts looking good, then it's time to go home."

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