How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell her.
What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
"Good morning, Your Honor."
A guy in a bar stands up & says, "All lawyers are assholes." Another guy stands up & says "Hey...I resent that..." The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"
The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."
How is sex like credit?
It's the people who need it most who can't get any.
