How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell her.
I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.
Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."
What do a gynecologist & a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can smell it, but they can't eat it.
You didn't know old Dick Johnson is a bit of a poet, did you. Yep! My dick is a Longfellow.
