How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell her.
Here at Dick Joke of the Day we are thinking about selling our own brand of T-Shirts.
They'll read: "LIFE'S A DICK. WHEN IT GETS HARD, FUCK IT!"
A female officer arrests a drunk. As she puts the cuffs on him she warns: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."
Before she can finish the drunk shouts out: "Boobs"
Hallmark Card fail:
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."
