How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell her.
What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
How's pussy like pizza?
The worst you'll ever have won't be all that bad.
When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten.The old gal asks: "What's up?"He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor."She says: "How often do I have to do that?"