Grandma Is Rockin' The Boat

: Created: 17 January 2015; Hits: 2790

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69.

She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

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A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

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Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

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