How can you tell if your wife's dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."
The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."
What's the difference between love, true love, and just showing off?
Spit, swallow, and gargle
