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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

BaaaAAAHH

Hits: 3427

Why's a sheep better than a woman?

A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.

How Long Has That Condom Been In Your Wallet?

Hits: 2850

What do a wife & a condom have in common?

They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Bodily Fluids

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Why do you get paid more at The Sperm Bank than at The Blood Bank?

Sperm is handmade.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Karma Is A Bitch

A woman yells out, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!" Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations."

To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, "What do you mean $200 for a blowjob?"

Wicked Witch

One night I came home a little late and very drunk. There was my wife standing there holding a broom

Thinking fast (maybe too fast) I said: "Are you still cleaning or are you going for a ride?"

And that's when the fight started...

You Go First

A couple had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife finally had enough. She figured she would break him of that crazy habit. So one night, while they were right in the middle of a romantic session, she flipped on the lights.

To her shock she looked down and saw her husband was holding a giant dildo. She got extremely upset. "You impotent bastard!" she screamed at him. "How could you lie to me all these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly, "I'll explain the rubber dick if you explain the kids."