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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

A Penis Enlarger That Really Works

Hits: 2435

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.

True Love

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If the dove is The Bird Of Love, what's The Bird of True Love?

The swallow.

Dog Lifestyle

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The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.

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Wasn't The Sex Ed Class I Had

Here we are in Sex Education Class. The teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for having sex."

The next day she calls on Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?" Little Johnny says, "Seventy-three."

The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..."

Next she calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?" Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl."

From the back Little Johnny yells out, "Seventy-four."

And What Do You Do?

A guy and his date were parked on lovers lane at the top of a hill overlooking the city. Just as he made his move the gal stopped him and said: “I really should've told you this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker. If you want to get laid tonight it'll cost you 30 bucks.” Reluctantly the guy forked over the money, then screwed her in the back seat.

When they got back in front the guy just sat in the driver’s seat staring out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” the girl asked. “Well," the guy said, "I should've mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver... and the fare back to town is $35.00!”

By Reputation

The teacher was explaining to her pupils the importance of responsibility and was looking to assign a team to do an important job for the class. She told them: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Little Johnny jumped up and shouted: "I'm the one you want teach'. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."