A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

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Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.

She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.

Why Is It St. Valentines Day?

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It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.

Valentines Day Cards

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A guy was organizing his cards for Valentine's Day and realized he made a huge mistake!

"For fucks sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.

The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Get My Gun

There once was a farmer who had three daughters. All three were going on a date on the same night, so he decided to meet their dates at the front door with a shotgun, just to let them know he was protective.

The first boy showed up and said "Hi, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're going to a show. Is she ready to go?" The farmer approved and sent them on their way.

Then the second boy arrived and he said "Hi, my name is Freddie, I'm here for Betty. We're going for spaghetti. Is she ready?" The farmer approved and sent them on their way as well.

Finally, the third boy arrived and he said "Hi my name is Chuck, ..." And the farmer shot him.

Time For A Quickie

A man walks into the kitchen and finds his wife boiling eggs. She looks at him passionately, lays on the counter, and says, "Make love to me Randy!"

Not wanting to lose the chance he embraces her quickly and they make passionate love.

When they are finished he asks her, "What was that about?"

She replies, "The egg timer was broken."

Not So Difficult After All

Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?

Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?