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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

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Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.

She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.

Why Is It St. Valentines Day?

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It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.

Valentines Day Cards

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A guy was organizing his cards for Valentine's Day and realized he made a huge mistake!

"For fucks sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.

The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her."

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I'm Too Old For This

How do you know when you are getting old?

When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

He Takes The Crown

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

Light My Fire

A guy's wife was totally letting herself go. So he tells her: "Your butt is getting huge. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" That night in bed, he tries to make a move on her and she totally shuts him down. "What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for just one little weenie?"

And that's when the fight started...