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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

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Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.

She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.

Why Is It St. Valentines Day?

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It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.

Valentines Day Cards

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A guy was organizing his cards for Valentine's Day and realized he made a huge mistake!

"For fucks sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.

The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her."

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Going Postal

My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.

I'm not some kind of stud.

I'm a lazy bastard postman.

Pray For Me

Willie goes to a revival meeting for some much needed prayer. The preacher says, "Whoever needs to be healed-UH... come for-ward-UH... come to the al-tar-UH... ask for the heal-ing-UH..." Willie gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher says, "All right my son, what do you need me to pray for?" Willie says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one hand over Willie's ear, puts the other hand on top of Willie's head, and prays and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the preacher takes his hands away, stands back, and says, "Son, how is your hearing now?"

Willie says, "I don't know preacher. My hearing ain't 'til next Wednesday."

Milk, It Does A Body Good

What do women and milk cartons have in common?

You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.