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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Sometimes Things Don't Get Better With TIme

Hits: 3044

What is the main difference between the first and second honeymoon?

On the second honeymoon, the husband is the one sobbing, "It's way too big."

Let The Force Be With You

Hits: 3727

If you force a prostitute to screw you, is it rape or shoplifting?

You choose.

Adam and Eve

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What did Eve wear? A fig leaf.

OK... So what did Adam wear?

A hole in Eve's fig leaf.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Why I Really Married You

Jack and his wife lived in Arizona where the summers are very hot. One day they awoke to a particularly severe heat wave. As he stepped out of the shower he complained to his wife saying, “it’s just too hot to wear any clothes on a day like this. What would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn with no clothes.”

“That I only married you for your money.”

And that's when the fight started...

After I'm Gone

I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."

"I do"

And that's when the fight started...

On The Rag, Vampire Style

What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?

See you next period.