Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

What is the main difference between the first and second honeymoon?

On the second honeymoon, the husband is the one sobbing, "It's way too big."

If you force a prostitute to screw you, is it rape or shoplifting?

You choose.

What did Eve wear? A fig leaf.

OK... So what did Adam wear?

A hole in Eve's fig leaf.

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A priest gets a flat tire fixed.

As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"

The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."

The priest says, "You better give them another turn."

What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.

She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."

Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."

Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."

Sometimes Things Don't Get Better With TIme