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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

How's Your Credit?

Hits: 3949

How is sex like credit?

It's the people who need it most who can't get any.

 

Who's That Lady...

Hits: 3082

What's the definition of a lady?

Someone who doesn't drink or smoke, and the only time she curses is when your dick slips out.

I'm A Barbie Girl, In A Barbie World...

Hits: 2857

Why can't Barbie get pregnant?

Because Ken comes in a different box.

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Now That's Cheap

What is the cheapest meat?

Deer balls, they're under a buck.

Clever Move

A rabbi and a priest get into a bad car accident. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Look at our cars...there's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God." The priest says, "I agree, this must be a sign from God."

The rabbi says, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, yet this bottle of Manischewitz wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune," and he hands the bottle to the priest. The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest.

The priest says, "Aren't you having any?"

The rabbi says, "No, I think I'll just wait for the police."

Not Quite A Cure

A doctor told his patient her test results came back and she had a rare disease with only 6 months to live.

"That's such a short amount of time." the woman begged, "Isn't there anything I can do?"

"Marry a lawyer," the doctor told her. "It will be the longest six months of your life."