Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

How is sex like credit?

It's the people who need it most who can't get any.

What's the definition of a lady?

Someone who doesn't drink or smoke, and the only time she curses is when your dick slips out.

Why can't Barbie get pregnant?

Because Ken comes in a different box.

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A guy is sitting at the bar and he's really drunk. His dick is out, he's a monstrous hard-on, and he's beating off like there's no tomorrow.

The bartender says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get outta here."

The guy says, "Are you kiddin'? No way I can leave. If I stood up I couldn't walk. In fact, I'm so drunk, I don't even know who I'm screwin'."

My wife was about to start her morning nag when I shot out: "You know our marriage is like a three-ring circus..."

And before she could comment I told her why: "First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering!"

And that's when the fight started...

Last year, on Valentine's Day, my fiancée of five years bought me a lottery ticket and I won $10 Million!!

I wonder what she's doing nowadays?

How's Your Credit?