A Snap Diagnosis

Guy goes to psychiatrist wearing only saran wrap.

The doc tells him: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?

The captain's log.

Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?

The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

My wife popped in while I was watching the game and asked: "Want some supper?"

Without looking up I replied: "What are my choices?" She fired back: "Yes and no!"

And that's when the fight started...