A Snap Diagnosis

: Created: 30 June 2016; Hits: 2999

Guy goes to psychiatrist wearing only saran wrap.

The doc tells him: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

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Either Way It Works

A nun came to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear confession. "Today Father Johnson told me I had the gates of Heaven between my legs, and that he had the Key to Heaven. Then he opened my gates with his key."

"That bastard!" said Mother Superior. "He told me it was Gabriel's trumpet, and I've been blowing it."

My Name Is Mud

A big, fat farmer is walking down a dirt road in the rain with his big, fat wife when he suddenly gets horny. He pulls his wife down to the ground, lifts up her dress, and starts fucking her.

After a minute, he says, "Elsie, is it in you, or is it in the mud?" She says, "It's in the mud."

He reaches down, and fiddles around a bit. Then he says, "Now is it in you, or is it in the mud?" She says, "It's in me."

He says, "Put it back in the mud."

Flag At Half Staff

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.