Sometimes Things Don't Get Better With TIme

What is the main difference between the first and second honeymoon?

On the second honeymoon, the husband is the one sobbing, "It's way too big."

Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off?

Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock!

My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.

I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."

And that's when the fight started...

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.