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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Now That'll Make Her Scream!

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How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?

Wipe your dick on the curtains.

Gotta Stay In Business

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What do pimps and farmers have in common?

They both need a hoe to stay in business.

Better To Keep Your Mouth Shut

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One day two boys were walking through the woods when they came upon some rabbit shit. The first boy asked his friend: "What's that?"

"'They're smart pills," his friend told him. "Eat one and it'll make you smarter." So the boy popped one in his mouth and said: "Yech. This tastes like shit."

"See," said his friend, "you're getting smarter already."

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You Can't Unread This One

What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste. Ewww...

Sharing is Caring

My wife was at the sink grousing about the dishes again. She asked me: "How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?"

I told her: "Both of them."

And that's when the fight started...

 

Back And Forth Exchange

Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."

He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"

And that's when the REAL fight started...