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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Never Mix Sex And Alcohol

Hits: 2712

I have a a real problem with sex and booze...

Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.

Keeping It In The Family

Hits: 2609

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

All Sinners Must Come And Confess

Hits: 2562

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Matter of Timing

I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."

The Special Key

Three girls died and went before the pearly gates where St. Peter and his angel stopped them. St. Peter said: "Before entering heaven you must answer a simple question - have you been a good girl?"

The first girl replied: "Oh yes. I was a virgin before I got married and was still a virgin even after I got married." "Very good", said St.Peter, "Angel, give this girl... the golden key"

The second girl answered: "Oh, quite good. I was a virgin before I got married but not after." "Also very good", said St.Peter, "Angel, for this girl give her the silver key"

Finally St. Peter turns to the third girl and asks: "Have you been a good girl?" She answered: "Oh no, not at all. I practically screwed every guy I met, before, and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime, any position.

"Hmmm... I see", said St.Peter, "Angel, give this girl my room key!"

Ladies and Gentleman We Have A Winner

My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second and third.