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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Never Mix Sex And Alcohol

Hits: 3341

I have a a real problem with sex and booze...

Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.

Keeping It In The Family

Hits: 3206

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

All Sinners Must Come And Confess

Hits: 3256

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

More Meat Please

A guy from America asked the gal from Sweden to dance at the college fraternity party. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call that a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call that a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a whole lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her. While he's pumping away he leans over and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too. Only we usually put more meat in it."

A Good Choir Boy

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

One Professional to Another

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around and yells: "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

The guy behind him says: "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"