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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Never Mix Sex And Alcohol

Hits: 3233

I have a a real problem with sex and booze...

Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.

Keeping It In The Family

Hits: 3096

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

All Sinners Must Come And Confess

Hits: 3124

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Race Is On

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

A Matter of Timing

I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."

Not Quite What You Think Johnny

The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it."

Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework." The teacher says, "Very good, Claude."

Mary says, "The sky is very dark... perhaps it's going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary."

She calls on Little Johnny in the back. "John?"

Little Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna shit on the piano."