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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Does Your Job Suck?

Hits: 3105

What's the difference between your job and a whore who dropped dead?

Tomorrow your job will still suck!

Definition Of Confidence

Hits: 3275

What is the definition of confidence?

When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You're next Baby... !"

My Drug Dealer Sells The Best "Crack"

Hits: 3129

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

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A Happy Ending For Thanksgiving

Here's how you can get the kids home for Thanksgiving.

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "The kids will be coming for Thanksgiving and the'll be paying their own way."

A Golden Combination

What's the best thing about a blow job?

Ten minutes of silence!

You're Not Going To Feel A Thing

Girl finishes screwing a guy and says: "You said you're a dentist?" "Yes, I am." he proudly replied.

"You must be a great dentist." "Why do you say that?"

"I didn't feel a thing."