Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

Here at Dick Joke of the Day we are thinking about selling our own brand of T-Shirts.

They'll read: "LIFE'S A DICK. WHEN IT GETS HARD, FUCK IT!"

When I was younger romance was all X's an O's.

Nowadays it's just Exes and Hoes.

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose.

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What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Basically there are 5 kinds of sex:

Smurf Sex - On your honeymoon you keep doing it until you're both blue in the face.

Kitchen Sex - At the beginning of your marriage you'll have sex anytime, anywhere - even in the kitchen.

Bedroom Sex - When you've settled down a bit, maybe have some kids, so you gotta restrict it to the bedroom.

Hallway Sex - You reach the point where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"

Courtroom Sex - Finally, you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of the whole courtroom.

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