If you force a prostitute to screw you, is it rape or shoplifting?
You choose.
A guy's in his car with a girl and says, "How about a hand job?"
She says, "What do I have to do?"
He says, "Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it? Just do that."
She grabs it and does it. A few minutes later, he starts screaming. She says, "What's wrong?"
He says, "Take your fucking thumb off the end."
You didn't know old Dick Johnson is a bit of a poet, did you. Yep! My dick is a Longfellow.
What's a pussy?
The box a dick comes in.
Did you see that one coming?