If you force a prostitute to screw you, is it rape or shoplifting?
You choose.
This is going to be the 1st Valentine's Day I was single in almost 10 years. I'm kind of excited...
I just hope the wife feels the same way when she finds out.
My neighbor looked over the fence and asked: "What are you doing?" I told her: "My goldfish died. I have to bury him."
"Why such a big hole?" she asked.
"'Cause he's inside your fucking cat."
A man walks into the kitchen and finds his wife boiling eggs. She looks at him passionately, lays on the counter, and says, "Make love to me Randy!"
Not wanting to lose the chance he embraces her quickly and they make passionate love.
When they are finished he asks her, "What was that about?"
She replies, "The egg timer was broken."
