If you force a prostitute to screw you, is it rape or shoplifting?
You choose.
My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
A man calls his wife into the bedroom. "I want to show you the new watch I got today."
She walks in and finds him with his pants down. "That's not a watch!" she says.
"It will be once you put two hands and a face on it."
"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"
"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."
