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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

A Little Bit Of Alcohol Always Does The Trick

Hits: 2718

How are nail polish and panties the same?

They both come off with a little alcohol.

No Dope, No Joke

Hits: 3298

Old Dick is no dope. Here's a piece of advice you should always follow: Whenever you have a one night stand, always use protection -- a fake name and a fake number.

Not Your Ordinary Guy Walks Into A Bar Joke

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Guy walks into a bar with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. The bartender asks: "What happened?"

The guy tells him: "I was fucking my wife doggy style and she ran under the house."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Always Know What To Say

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

"Honey, I'm home."

Faking It

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

"No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe; she fakes it with Ken.

This Way And That Way

A guy was complaining to his buddy that his new girlfriend was really kinky. His friend asked him: "How so?"

"Well" came the answer, "All she wants me to do is screw her in the ear." "In the ear? Wow. That is weird," his buddy remarked.

"Yeah," the guy continued. "Every time I go to stick my dick in her mouth, she turns her head."