How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
A guy is interviewing a blonde for a job.
He says, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"
She says, "The living one."
How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell her.
My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"
I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "
And that's when the fight started...