A Good Choir Boy

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?

The cake jumps out of the girl.

A woman at the Pearly Gates asks St. Peter, "Is my husband here? My name is Johnson." St. Peter says, "Well, that's not enough information."

She says, "OK... his name is Dick Johnson and he told me that after he died, if I was ever unfaithful, he'd roll over in his grave."

St. Peter says, "Oh .. you mean Pinwheel Johnson!"

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...