All Sinners Must Come And Confess

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girlfriend.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. What I really wanted was a girl with a zest for life.

When I was 19, I found a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. So I looked for a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a stable girl, but she was too boring. What i needed was a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but she lacked direction and was too petty. I thought I'd be better off with a girl with some ambition.

When I was 31, I found an ambitious girl. Yeah... she was so ambitious that she married me, divorced me, and took everything I owned.

Now I am 40, and all I want is a girl with big tits!

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.

Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.