What's the difference between sin and shame?
It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
How is Santa Claus like a smart blonde?
They both don't exist!
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
And that's when the fight started...