All Sinners Must Come And Confess

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives every woman wild?

A hundred dollar bill!

Why are roach clips called roach clips?

Because "pot holder" was already taken.

A string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry pal, we don't serve strings here."

So the string walks outside, ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back into the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."