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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Tastes Like Chicken

Hits: 3030

What is the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is when you use a feather on her... kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

I Love Feminists

Hits: 3212

Why did the feminist cross the road?

To suck my dick. Booyaa!

Time For The Wife To Get A New Job

Hits: 2932

What's the difference between your wife and your job?

After two years, the job still sucks.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Stuck In An Elevator

What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?

One who knows how to fix elevators.

Hold On There

What do you have with two balls in your hand?

A man's undivided attention.

Man Of The Year

A man steps into the street and manages to grab a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

The passenger asks, "Who?" The cabbie says, "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along just when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every time."

Passenger: "Yeah. But there's always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie says, "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam in tennis. He could golf with the pros. And music? He sang like an opera baritone, danced like a Broadway star, and you should've heard him play the piano."

The passenger replies, "Sounds like he was really someone special."

Cab driver continues, "There's more... He had a mind like a computer. He could remember everybody's birthday, knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out."

Passenger: "Wow, some incredible guy"

The cabbie goes on, "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic to avoid traffic jams. Not like me... I always seem to get stuck in them all the time."

Passenger: "Mmm, there's not many like him around."

Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman, how to really make her feel good. He'd never answer her back even if she was in the wrong. And his clothing was always immaculate, down to his highly polished shoes."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank."

Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"

Cabbie: "I married his fucking widow..."