What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose.
Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.
Do you know what they sing?
I didn't think you did.
Two rednecks are out fishing. The first one asks: "If I go to your house and fuck your wife and get her pregnant and she has a kid, would that make us kinfolk?"
The friend says: "Nope. That'd make us about even."
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.
