Dad Knows The Score

: Created: 09 January 2017; Hits: 2466

When I was 16, my dad sat me down and said, "Dick, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle about the price."

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Looks Good To Me!

My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.

When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.

And that's when the fight started...

Dig Deep In The Memory Banks

A man picks up a cute little number in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel. After they're done screwing around he asks, "Am I the first man you ever made love to?"

She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might be... your face looks familiar."

Under Pressure

I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"

I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."

And that's when the fight started...