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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Going Downtown

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When do you know you've been married too long?

The only reason you go down on it is because it doesn't talk back.

Whore Or A Bitch?

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The difference between a whore & a bitch?

A whore fucks everyone at the party. The bitch? Everyone but you.

Gay Sperm ... ummm .. ewwww

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What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?

I can't see a thing with all this shit in here!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

How To Really Tie One On

A string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry pal, we don't serve strings here."

So the string walks outside, ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back into the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

Total Recall Times Two

Why is the area between her breasts & hips called a waist?

You could easily fit another pair of tits there!

Who's Your Daddy?

Johnson took his latest invention, a computerized crystal ball, to his banker hoping to get a business loan. The banker was skeptical, so Johnson said to give it a try.

The banker typed "Where's my father?" and instantly the reply came back "Fishing in Michigan."

The banker said "I knew this thing wouldn't work. My father's been dead for twenty years."

Johnson begged him "No.wait. Try asking in a different way."

So the banker tried "Where's my mother's husband?"

And bang the answer came back: "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."