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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

This Is Why Hockey Players Wear Them

Hits: 2318

What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

He heads over to the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

(Ah please... just google it!)

She Blew It

Hits: 2624

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?

Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Stir Fry And Panties

Hits: 3224

How's a frying pan hanging on the wall like a woman's panties?

You have to get them down before you can put the meat in.

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I'm Too Old For This

How do you know when you are getting old?

When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

But It Looked So Delicious

My wife and I attended a lecture on diet and health given by a prominent doctor.

"The things we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago." He said. "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous. And none of us realize the long-term harm caused by impurities in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten it, or will eat it. Can anyone tell me what we eat that causes the most grief and suffering lasting for years after we eat it?"

I leaned over to my wife and whispered "I think he means wedding cake."

And that's when the fight started...

Wasn't The Sex Ed Class I Had

Here we are in Sex Education Class. The teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for having sex."

The next day she calls on Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?" Little Johnny says, "Seventy-three."

The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..."

Next she calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?" Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl."

From the back Little Johnny yells out, "Seventy-four."