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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Staying Hard

Hits: 3182

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?

He changed his mind. Decided to stick it out for one more year!

Milk, It Does A Body Good

Hits: 2919

What do women and milk cartons have in common?

You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.

She's Smoking!

Hits: 2170

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

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A Duck Walks Into A Bar... Here We Go Again!

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says no, this is a bar not a grocery store." and sends him out.

The next day, the duck returns and again asks, "Got any grapes?" This time the bartender gets real mad and says. "I told you yesterday no grapes. And you're a duck. We don't even serve ducks here. You come in here and bother me one more time and I'll nail your fuckin' web feet to the floor." And with that he throws him out again.

The next day, the duck returns only this time he asks "Got any nails?" Confused, the bartender says "No."

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

Driver's Ed

Why can't blondes parallel park? 'Cause guys keep telling them that 4 inches is really 8 inches.

Next It'll Say: Out Of Business

When we first started dating I wanted to show my girfriend I was serious. So I changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship."

When I told her she said: "It should've been changd to 'under new management!'"

And that's when the fight started...