Gay Sperm ... ummm .. ewwww

What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?

I can't see a thing with all this shit in here!

A drunk's walking along and smacks right into a tree. He backs up a few steps and then walks into the tree again. And then he does it again!

Finally he mumbles to himself, "This is great. I was supposed to be home hours ago, and here I am, lost in the fuckin' forest."

Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.

Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?

Shoot him again.