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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Big Ben

Hits: 4186

Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off?

Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock!

Peeing In The Shower Saves Water

Hits: 2970

My girlfriend's a real clean freak. She says it's disgusting to piss in the bathtub.

Next time maybe I should wait until she gets out.

Just Beat It

Hits: 2742

What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?

Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Talent From Top To Bottom

What do you call a guy who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you the flavor?

A smartass!

Not Like She Used To Be

A wife arrived home after a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a cute little hottie.

Just as she was about to storm out of the house in anger, her husband stopped her and begged to explain: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl. She was looking poor and tired, so I offered her a ride. She said she was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the fridge. Her shoes were worn out, so I offered her the pair you didn’t wear because you thought they went out of style. She was cold so I gave her that birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn’t suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours, the ones you said didn’t fit anymore. Then as this poor young lady was about to leave, she paused at the door and asked me, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?'"

"And so, here we are!"

That Big?

I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?