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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Big Ben

Hits: 4246

Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off?

Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock!

Peeing In The Shower Saves Water

Hits: 3019

My girlfriend's a real clean freak. She says it's disgusting to piss in the bathtub.

Next time maybe I should wait until she gets out.

Just Beat It

Hits: 2775

What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?

Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Strange Sexual Positions

A couple went to a sex therapist to try and improve their sex live. After hearing the couple's complaints, the therapist suggested they experiment a little more. "For example," he suggested, "You might try different positions, like the wheelbarrow. You lift her legs, penetrate, and off you go."

The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.

"Well, OK," the hesitant wife agreed, "But on two conditions. First if it hurts, you'll stop right away, and second," she insisted, "You must promise we won't go past my mother's."

Always Important To Match

A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"

He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"

The House Dictates the Policy

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.