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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Big Ben

Hits: 4246

Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off?

Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock!

Peeing In The Shower Saves Water

Hits: 3019

My girlfriend's a real clean freak. She says it's disgusting to piss in the bathtub.

Next time maybe I should wait until she gets out.

Just Beat It

Hits: 2775

What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?

Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

As He Walked Through The Bar

A young guy walks into a bar and as he passes an old man sitting there the old guy looks up and blurts out: "I fucked your mother."

The young guy ignores the old coot and keeps on walkin' when the old guy shouts: "Your mother sucks my dick".

So the young guy turns back and says: "Dad... your drunk... go home."

Promise Kept

A woman at the Pearly Gates asks St. Peter, "Is my husband here? My name is Johnson." St. Peter says, "Well, that's not enough information."

​She says, "OK... his name is Dick Johnson and he told me that after he died, if I was ever unfaithful, he'd roll over in his grave."

​St. Peter says, "Oh .. you mean Pinwheel Johnson!"

Wife's Lament

One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch. The first woman says, "Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers. That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend."

The other woman asks, "Why, don't you have a vase?"