A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

I Wanna Put My Balls In It!

Hits: 3054

How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?

Even the pool table has no balls.

What Are You Worried About?

Hits: 2847

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.

Some things last forever ... and some don't!

Hits: 2652

What's the difference between love and herpes?

Love doesn't last forever.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Always Know What To Say

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

"Honey, I'm home."

Reality Check

A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?

Almost Crapped My Pants!

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work. Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"

One Thanksgiving morning, Martha's preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself. Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.

She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost.

He says, "You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again."