What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?
Lettuce alone with no dressing.
My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"
She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."
And that's when the fight started...
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
A guy is having dinner with his girlfriend at a restaurant when he suddenly gets down on one knee.
His surprised girlfriend begins to say: "This is so sudden..." When the guy interrupts: "Shhh... my wife just walked in!"