Those Fat Bastards In Corporate

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

When would you want a man's company?

When he owns it.

A midget whips out his two-foot dick.

The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."

"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."

What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

Forty-five pounds.