Those Fat Bastards In Corporate

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

I asked my wife to give me a blow job. She said "Can't you be more romantic?"

So I told her "Sure, give me a blow job... in the rain."

And that's when the fight started...

The other day my wife asked me to talk to her like she was special.

So I said, "Gooooo ... maaaaake ... meeeee ... aaaaa ... cuuuuup ... offfff ... coffeeeee"

And that's when the fight started...

Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"

He said, "Everybody."