Who's the world's greatest athlete?
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
What can a goose do, a duck can't, and your lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
What's the best thing about duct tape?
It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"
How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
