Who's the world's greatest athlete?
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
Gal tells her friend, "I just read it's against the law to go topless in the New York subway."
Her friend says, "Thank God. It's bad enough when you catch your scarf in those doors."
Topless babe walks up to 2 guys on the beach wearing Hawaiian shirts. They look her up and down and smile. She smiles back and says: "Hello, Fathers."
One guy asks her: "How did you know we're priests?"
"I'm Sister Mary Kathryn. We take vacations, too."
My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.
