Who's the world's greatest athlete?
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
A hooker visits her doctor and asks him to put a hole in her hip.
The doc asks, "Why?"
The hooker tells him, "So I can do a little work on the side."
Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."
Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."
What do the aborigine call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick.
